"Teenager attacked in street by gang of OAPs"

"It was well gash, innit" said one terrified onlooker. "One of them was bashing him with their stick while her mate was, like, filming it or on an old Nikon Super 8mm camera or something."

Posted By: tim berry on September 3rd 2007 at 13:51:02

Message Thread

Newspaper headlines we won't see this season.... I'll start with (NCFC) - Pixelman, Sep 3, 13:03:48
- "Teenager attacked in street by gang of OAPs" (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:51:02
- Lee Croft admits to having no nipples, and sellotapes wasps where they should be (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:50:41
- Berlin Canary actually lives in Berlin (n/m) (NCFC) - Brandonio, Sep 3, 13:45:13
- "Steve In Holland and pants to marry" (n/m) (NCFC) - BerlinCanary, Sep 3, 13:43:16
- Ex City Legend wins Turner Prize (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:38:26
  - how random is that... (NCFC) - phrankin, Sep 3, 13:41:39
  - lol. How the f*** did you find that ? (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:39:36
    - yip (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:43:17
      - was it you that posted that the other day then? (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Sep 3, 13:47:33
        
        nope (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:54:20
- "Norwich City sign centre back" (n/m) (NCFC) - BerlinCanary, Sep 3, 13:37:51
  - "Norwich City sign good centre back" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:39:48
- "Diana's death was an accident" - Daily Express (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:31:13
  - Diana to appear in one off episode of "One foot in the grave" (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:52:25
  - "Express Bans Diana" (n/m) (NCFC) - Charles21, Sep 3, 13:36:21
- 'Mickey' from the Head & Shoulders ads voted 'Man of the Year' (n/m) (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:29:42
- "Read the new article our popular columnist Robert Romans' " (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:28:48
  - Actually... Winner. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:29:06
    - Fickle fuck - that is what you are (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:30:51
      - It's a fast-moving world, media. (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:31:37
        
        Fuck off post modern knobber head (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:32:48
        
        "Fierce Panda in toys out of pram shocker" (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:34:29
        
        That was nice... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:40:21
        
        Could you stop swearing please (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:34:02
        
        OK (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:34:24
- Pete Docherty kicks drugs, stops being a wanker and writes a good song shocker (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:28:36
  - He does write good songs. (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:32:03
    - He's shit... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:34:02
  - What about Amy? (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:30:10
  - Winner. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:28:52
- Civil Court Turns down McClaren's appeal at being charged for 3 hair cuts at local Salon (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:27:21
- Lee Croft signs up for new Toy Story film. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:27:12
- Amy Whinehouse is actually good! (n/m) (NCFC) - CB41, Sep 3, 13:27:09
  - I like Whinehouse...... (n/m) (NCFC) - phrankin, Sep 3, 13:31:59
- "phrankin: Yes, actually, perhaps I was wrong about that one". (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:27:04
- "Glenn Hoddle takes the reins off failing England squad as McLaren sacked" (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:25:44
- Despite seeing his side lose, Panda enjoyed being in Norwich 1st Sep 2007 (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:25:28
- England meet expectations in dominant defeat of Israel. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:24:05
  - whose expectations are those? (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:30:49
    - That's why it's an unlikely headline... (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:32:23
      - on so many levels (n/m) (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:34:21
- Manager of the Henry VIII Pub Team Drafts Headless Chicken into Central Defence (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:24:01
- "Emile Heskey called into England squad" (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:22:50
- Arizona Bay wins fish husbandry award (n/m) (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 3, 13:21:10
- "I lost 3 stone in a week! And now I'm dead!" (n/m) (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Sep 3, 13:20:33
- "Doherty puts in transfer request" (NCFC) - BerlinCanary, Sep 3, 13:20:17
  - or even (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 3, 13:22:37
    - Boooooooo. (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:24:43
    - is that because when he does have a good game no one is gracious enough to admit it? (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Sep 3, 13:24:31
      - I am... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Sep 3, 13:26:14
      - I thought he played well Saturday (n/m) (NCFC) - phrankin, Sep 3, 13:26:12
        
        played well defensively but missed a couple of excellent chances at the other end (n/m) (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:27:39
        
        I thought he was okay against hull when everyone was slating him (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 3, 14:04:52
        
        Whisper this quietly (NCFC) - DiscoDaleGordon, Sep 3, 15:45:34
      - Well said. (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:25:54
- Andy Hughes eyes England Call Up, By David Bentley (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:18:38
  - "Bentley: I can't believe I'm actually in the England squad" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:20:29
    - Bentley: (NCFC) - BerlinCanary, Sep 3, 13:24:01
      - Bentley: (NCFC) - blindasabat, Sep 3, 13:26:22
        
        No, no - Bentley's far too much of a Billy Big Bollocks for such paltry assertions (n/m) (NCFC) - BerlinCanary, Sep 3, 13:34:37
        
        s'pose, either way he's only got this week to make them (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Sep 3, 13:42:00
- Jeff Stelling spotted dancing in the streets of TNS. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:18:37
- "Knock Knock Tim Berry phenomenon takes UK comedy circuit by storm" (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:18:23
  - lol (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:19:00
- "Ipswich Town promoted to Premier League" (n/m) (NCFC) - shoddy, Sep 3, 13:17:53
- Dog has rare arse licky allergy (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:17:43
- God prooves his existence (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Sep 3, 13:17:01
  - but doesn't proof-read Wrath posts (n/m) (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:19:48
    - Nor do you. (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:21:09
      - Ah, my mistake. Should have read both posts... (n/m) (NCFC) - tim berry, Sep 3, 13:21:53
  - ... (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:17:31
- Tortoise claims 100m sprint world record. (n/m) (NCFC) - Dog, Sep 3, 13:16:34
  - ", denies testing positive for banned substances" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:18:15
- "Norwich announce Belly Raspberrying ban" (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:14:36
- "Thorne unavailable with Foot and Mouth" (n/m) (NCFC) - pants, Sep 3, 13:11:45
  - "Thorne available" seems even more unlikely (NCFC) - mr carra, Sep 3, 13:14:54
  - You sure about that one ? (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:12:04
- "Uncle Stoopish reported missing after our boys down Argie Belgrano" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:09:07
- "Phew, what a scorcher" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:08:35
  - "and the weathermen say its going to getting even hotter!" (n/m) (NCFC) - shoddy, Sep 3, 13:12:32
- "Norwich City lose home league game to Cardiff" (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:08:22
- "Real-life Pepe le Pew rapes cat" (n/m) (NCFC) - yarmyyarmy, Sep 3, 13:08:10
  - *nearly snotting a mouthful of chicken sandwich* (n/m) (NCFC) - Yellalee, Sep 3, 13:09:17
- Pygmy fellates John Sessions whilst making a flan. (n/m) (NCFC) - malkybarkid, Sep 3, 13:07:30
  - Alan takes up post as head of MENSA (n/m) (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 3, 13:09:09
    - camcan posts in wrong place (n/m) (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 3, 13:09:30
- Indeed. Only Waghorn spells like that. (n/m) (NCFC) - Steve in Holland, Sep 3, 13:07:10

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