That's very interesting

I understand that the warn-off might increase the risk to her.

I'm vexed by this because I don't understand what might make someone hit a woman, and I speak as one whose experience comes from the other side: my ex-wife used to take her moods out on me with as much violence as she could muster, and I had to learn how to deal with that. She couldn't actually hurt me, much, but I went to work with bruises and scratches a few times. I was never moved to hit her back, ever, though it crossed my mind when she slyly implied in the divorce proceedings that i did. The little s**t.

My thinking in the address-violence-with violence, I guess, was like this.........

why does anyone hit his partner?
1) because he's a violent thug, so, leave him.
2) because he's deeply unhappy with his life and this comes out in violence, and the missus is less likley to beat him up, in which case, both parties need to seek help - which can be difficult to accept or countenance
3) because he's a bully who can't handle his booze, and this is the only area which might possibly be addressed by warning him off.

I dunno, I can't fully understand it. I'm just a little bit surprised that nobody else suggested it. 30 years ago, I suspect that it'd have been the first reply received.

Posted By: Sugbad The Bad on April 17th 2011 at 11:11:18


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