As someone who works in the field of domestic abuse

I would suggest that the victim needs to know she can get support from an organisation such as Leeway, and that her partner will not know about this- it will be the absolute goal of them not to let the perpetrator know she has support unless she wants him to know.

The Police have a specialised unit, the Domestic Abuse Investigation Unit. They can offer discrete advocacy if risks are high enough. They will record incidents appropriately. They understand that by turning up, saying "leave her alone" and going away they are increasing the risks to her.

Domestic violence is generally about control. The victim is likely to be frightened, isolated, at risk of a range of harms and may have had her self worth seriously undermined. Saying she should leave him (safely with support of someone like Leeway if needed- she may need to plan) is good advice but if she is in fear of her or any children's safety may be more difficult than may be imagined. She may not want to leave.

I would support her, let her know what is happening is unnaceptable, and let her know what options are available to her. If you are worried he is going to hurt her, you should call the Police.

Posted By: finkleton on April 17th 2011 at 10:44:40

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