Club defends players

Under-fire Norwich City boss Peter Grant has slammed reports that fans are turning against him, as his beleaguered outfit once again drew a goal-scoring blank in the club’s latest defeat at QPR.

After ten successive hours without a goal, the Scottish manager was in a bullish mood, blaming other factors for the club’s poorest run in recent history.

“Some of the senior players can’t concentrate. This Northern Rock thing has hit some of them very hard. Adam Drury has seen the monthly mortgage repayment on his mock-Georgian house rise from £1200 to £1810 per month, following recent interest rate rises. No professional could be expected to perform well in these circumstances”.

An independent survey of supporter attitudes however, tends to support the view that the manager’s honeymoon period is officially over, with the number of spectators exhibiting toothy grins at the final whistle down a staggering 48% year on year. Equally worrying, is a dramatic rise in the level of comfort food being consumed by fans, with Munchies and Milky Way Stars sales rising 56% and 47% respectively.

Director of Happiness and Fulfilment Joe Ferraro, was quick to dismiss these findings, claiming that the current fan-base “was more sophisticated than in previous seasons” and that the situation regarding Milky Way Stars is “largely down to improved storage facilities at the club”.

There was yet more bad news off the field, with an anonymous catering source, claiming that sales of food and beverages in the New York styled ‘Yellows’ bar are 50% down against target, as would-be diners stay away , fearing a 9/11 style attack originating from the nearby International Airport.

Majority shareholder Delia Smith was quick to dismiss speculation that a major shake-up was imminent, stating that “ Peter ish staying fullshop, hic”.

Posted By: Buckscanary, Oct 9, 17:11:55