This sounds suitable

One particularly gruesome form of impalement involved being forced to stand over a wide stake which was just tall enough that it penetrated the person's rectum deeply. This left them unable to remove themselves, or to sit. As their legs tired, they would slowly sink onto the stake, which eventually would cause mortal damage, but only over the course of hours, or even days.

Could put a video of his "finest comedy moments" on repeat in front of him too.

Posted By: Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 09:27:51