I am a man, a man of Todd...

A football is there to be kicked, kicked hard. An opponent is there to be kicked, kicked hard. Pies are there to be eaten, eaten hard, run hard in various directions if you have not spewed up, we're out of the cup. Kick. Shit. Eat pie. Tackle.

Kick. Another s**t. More pie. And that's the Burnley way. If you've been man-marked, mark that man with the point of your elbow. If there's a man up front, boot it up to him at great height. No exceptions, no excuses. Organisation, not joy. Efficiency, not finesse.

Exhaust exhaustion without pleasure. Eat carbs on the hour every hour. Bread, pasta and sports. I said bread, pasta and sports. Then pie, pancakes, fudge. Wear your shorts nice and tight around your ass, fix your hair solid with gel and spray mount.

Remember, a flailing elbow or forearm can be both offensive and defensive. Steaks should never be eaten without gravy. A baked onion should be served with every meal and every course. If you don't do what you told, you'll be out of the fold. Derby will have you at the drop of a hat and they are hopeless. And remember, kick. Shit. Eat pie. Tackle. Kick. And that's the Burnley way.

Posted By: Tombs, Apr 23, 13:02:31