early Wroth circa Houghton. Enjoy.
We'd been in Manchester to see the trials for the GB archery team for the 2016 Olympics.
It was great, a really interesting thing to see. One of the archers though, was just awful. Not sure how he's managed to get to the trials, but half his arrows were missing the targets completely.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, SCC appeared. "You know who else misses the target a lot? Norwich City strikers!"
Arizona Bay
So anyway, I was in the pub last week with the guys at work.
And we were having a massive b***h about our recently departed (for another job, not dead) boss. He was really weak, and he'd let anyone get away with slacking off and that, and never stood up to our clients or anything.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, SCC appeared. "You know who else is a terrible manager? Chris Hughton!"
Arizona Bay
Our train broke down on the way home from Manchester at the weekend.
So we had to get on a replacement bus service, after ages of hanging around in the cold. Eventually this knackered old bus turns up and it was just awful. Slow and cramped.
Suddenly, out of nowhere SCC appeared. "You know who else is a terrible coach? The coaches at Norwich!"
Arizona Bay
I had to go on one of those speed awareness courses for naughty boys who drive too quick.
It was actually really good, and quite an eye opener to how important it is to pay absolute attention at all times when driving, and how just 5mph can make the difference between killing someone or not.
Anyway, right at the end of the day, they gave us a bit of a stern telling off about getting caught, and only getting one chance to go to one of those courses, and how lucky we were to get away without getting three points on our driving licenses.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, SCC appeared. "You know who else rarely gets three points? Norwich City!"
Arizona Bay
I applied for a new job at the council today
They had advertised for a senior position controlling the safe and efficient removal of household waste. I passed the assessment and the theory tests. We discussed salary and my guaranteed bonus. Then sorted out the pension.
They then introduced me to the senior council officer who said Welcome to the council Kar1, you are our Rubbish manager.
Suddenly from nowhere SCC appeared and said, " I know who else has a rubbish manager"
Kar1
Anyone else used to read Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" comics?
I did, and I'm super nerdy fanboy excited that after 20 years or so he's doing a new series.
I actually found myself visiting Forbidden Planet to get the first issue. Got chatting to the Comic Book Nerd at the till about comics and that. Was saying how I don't really like typical masked superhero comics, apart from a particular Batman story arc a few years ago which dealt with mental illness in an incredibly sophisticated manner, and explored the psychological background to the characters Batman and The Joker.
Just then, SCC burst in, from out of nowhere. "I'll tell you who else is a joker. The coaches at Norwich City!"
Arizona Bay
I heard that Mark Knopfler was round Larralds house.....
He asked him the name of the bands he used to be in.....
just like magic SCC appeared and said "I know another guy in Dire Straits"
Usacanary
Talking to a friend last night... his wife has "lady problems"...
his words. He was telling me he hadn't had sex for nearly a year as his wife has something called vaginismus - which is a medical NO ENTRY.
Just then, SCC burst in, from out of nowhere. "I'll tell you who else is a useless c**t... Chris Hughton."
Pixelman
Earlier on i was working up the City....
There was this mad bloke with long hair and dodgy sandals telling everyone who passed him he could turn water into John Smiths Smooth bitter. I called his bluff and walked up with a bottle of Evian, "go on young man turn this into a pint of the finest.
Obviously he couldn't
Suddenly SCC came running down exchange street and yelled at the top of his voice
"I know someone else who not a miricle worker, its Chris Hughton"
Strap on Sally
Garden Noises
Last night I was awoken by some horrible screeching noises in the garden about 3am.
I got out of bed, put on my dressing gown and went downstairs and peeked through the window. I couldnt see anything but could still hear the terrible screeching.
I unlocked the back door and ventured into the garden. There was a cat and a fox fighting. The cat did a runner but the fox just stood there.
I said f**k off Fox. You are not wanted here.
Suddenly SCC busrt in out of my garden shed and said "Thats not the only Fox who has been told to f**k off recently! "
Pit
I just read this post out to Mrs Git
And said "This is the old duffer that doesn't understand anything, you know, the one mbk did the Venn diagram about"
Then SCC burst in and shouted "You know who else hasn't got a f**king clue??!!"
Old Git
Comet news....
An exciting night spent watching the comet, lots of excitement about whether it would survive or not and conversations with the other guys around what we thought would happen... concensus was that it would be lucky to survive....
Just then, out of nowhere, SCC appeared shouting "you know who else has had his time in the sun and has been lucky to survive... Christ Hughton"
Pixelman
Mine wrongly above..... A bit s**t!
Just home from night shift....really really sick
Patient in A&E resus.
Horribly septic, no obvious cause. Within an hour they had deteriorated further all organs had failed. I had them on machines for his breathing, cardiac function, kidneys, liver everything
Suddenly from nowhere, in bursts SCC and shouts, "it's like Norwich under hoots, we need a f**king life support machine"
Admckechnie
On Remembrance Sunday I was with some Falklands veterans
They were telling me stories about Colonel H Jones and then the Gurkhas. They said the Argies were absolutely petrified of the Gurkhas and with good reason - those kukris aren't for decoration and they were absolutely ruthless in hand to hand combat, never leaving any survivors.
Then SCC burst in and shouted "You know who else never gives an Argentinian a f**king chance?"
Old Git
Posted By: Pixelman, Aug 29, 10:48:04
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