The Secret Diary of BWOD, aged 14 and ¾

Woke up this morning and my first thought was that Dan isn't my PE teacher any more, just because the headmaster Mr Webber got fed up with all the coffee and cake and defeats. Carefully dried my pillow out on the radiator so that I could soak it with my bitter tears once again. Life is so dark and empty.

Went to school. All the other girls are talking about the new supply teacher, Deansmith, and how dishy he is. They use words like "rugged" and "steely" and "going up the league", and they roll up their skirts and make eyes at him. What shallow fools they are! Can I be the only one to see that abject surrender in style is so much more romantic than actually competing?

Went to watch the First XI play some big rough boys from London in the afternoon. It was awful. Dan would have coached them properly to a lovely, romantic 3 or 4 nil defeat. Then he would have spoken to us all so beautifully, while scraping his hair back. Some nasty people say he used to do that to cover his bald patch but I know he did it for me. He always looked right at me while he did it.

Instead our team did ugly things apparently called "tackling" and "working hard", and Deansmith had the cheek not to apologise. Lots of the other girls kept making eyes at him but I didn't, I looked at him with a very distant expression and mouthed "You'll never be a Daniel" before walking away. So there!

Had a coffee with Worthing Yellow later. He's lovely, he understands how I feel about Dan. He asked if we could get together to write some poetry about him soon, which is a brilliant idea. I've already written the first lines -

"I'll never have another love like Daniel
With hair and eyes and ears like a spaniel"

Posted By: Old Git, Feb 10, 10:02:30