We recently met someone who knew the cook at Git Towers, we were staying with

Teddy and Charlotte Abbington-Provost at their pile just outside Hay-on-Wye. Their man, Kisser, served with Portia Tranter at Courtenay House before she entered service at Git Towers.

On Saturday evening, prior to evening tiffin, Kisser relayed the following tale.

He and Portia had been asked to work extra hours one Sunday as Maximus Farrington and Clarissa Selfridges had organised a charity do at Courtenay House which happened to coincide with the end of the shooting season.

It was a prestigious do and the guest list included the likes of Cassandra Bennet, Lorelei Branigan, Christiana Forge, Simone Blackwood, Wentworth Larson, Roman Hagan, Frances Da Ville and Maximilian Calliwell to name but a few.

Cassie Bennet and Frances Da Ville were seen wandering off into the woods, towards the secluded summer house where Wigbert Banbridge and Figgy La-Minnings had been caught rutting at the Solstice Party the year before.

The bell was rung for supper and Kisser was despatched to find Cassie and Frances.

On entering the woods he beheld a most god-awful sight. Cassie Bennet was hanging upside down from the summer house roof with not a stitch on, save for some purple drawers. She had a rabbit's arse strapped to her face. Da Ville was running up and down the lawn in a pair of silk bloomers screaming, his furious erection bobbing before him.

Not knowing where to turn, Kisser left them to it and returned to the house, tripping over an old hoof nipper and breaking his leg in the process.

Posted By: malkybarkid, Mar 30, 17:35:48