Before I get on the train, I leave you with the comedy genius that is Jeff Stelling

'mido has just been sent off and i can confirm he walks like an egyptian'

'and its poetic justice as byron is sent from the field'

"There has been a goal at kit kat crescent and its a major BOOST for York city!"

"Gareth Jellyman has just been dismissed, I think hes thrown a wobbler"

" with a victory on the cards they'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight"

'Inverness Caledonian Thistle against Patrick Thistle, a prickly encounter north of the border

When Laurent Robert walked out of Pompey earlier this season, Kamara was at the ground

Kamara - "I can see him outside Jeff, he's trying to get a taxi but nobody will stop. He can't get any transport"

Stelling - "Not even a pram?

It was not long after Robbie Fowler bent his arse towards Graham LeSox at Chelsea, intimating that he was a poof. Jeff Stelling : Robbie Fowler has sent a message of appology to LeSox for his antics towards him at Stamford bridge..........On scented notepaper, no doubt.

"There's been a penalty awarded at Old Trafford ? I don't think you need me to tell you which way it's gone."

after Best had a couple thousand pounds stole from him by some prostitutes last year, Jeff opened an edition of 'Soccer Saturday' by quipping: "George Best isn't with us today, he isn't feeling two grand"

when referring to Mourinho's comment of 'I don't know what the Catalan is for 'play-acting'', he said 'I don't know what the Portuguese is for 'pot' and 'kettle' either'.

Just after we beat birmingham to win seven in a row after DJ campbell came on in the second half. Jeff ends the programme with:

"DJ got a spin, but West Ham have the record"

Posted By: DDiM, Mar 2, 10:19:58