got a handwrittten letter through the letterbox this morning

"The Occupier"

From the Parish council no less.

Great big long tome which basically said my hedge needs cutting as it is endangering members of the publics safety as they have to step out off the path into the highway into traffic, they were kind enough to present examples of human beings that particularly might be greatly affected by this e.g. young mother's with pushchairs (strangely not father's though, young or old with or without infant perambulating devices), the elderly, the visually impaired, people with mobility issues and so on.

All perfectly reasonable, no problem with that whatsoever thank you for writing to me and highlighting this issue.

What I do have a problem with is that in all the years I've lived here my hedge is diligently kept as trim as a US Marine Drill Sergeant's back and sides. You'd struggle to do yourself an injury if you were a 25 stone butt naked haemophiliac on my hedge such is it's neatness of bush characteristics.

The cheeky f**king no mark council w**kers. I've sent them a dog s**t emoji and demanded a fullsome apology and legal costs which I will donate to the UK chapter of the Boz Scaggs appreciation society.

Posted By: Tombs, Oct 30, 12:13:32