VOTE SiH

Vote SiH! Vote Steve in UK!

Before being registered to vote, all applicants must pass a competence exam consisting of four parts:
1) a simple English language reading and writing test;
2) be able to demonstrate an understanding of the general concepts of corroborated fact and slogans without foundation;
3) potential voters must also be able to pass a simple biology test by locating both their arse and their elbow;
4) the final part of the voting entrance exam is a simple multiple choice about the policies of each of the main parties.

Remove 15 year rule for Brits outside the UK (although still subject to the competence exam).

Taking the entrance exam will be compulsory for all over the age of 18.

Hold a referendum on UNBrexit, including above-stated voting rules.

After said referendum, we will UNBrexit regardless of the result because it’s a f**king referendum and not legally binding you f**king idiots. But still, it would be nice to have your blessing. Ta.

Retirement age to 60 for both men and women. This will create more jobs for the young, ensure greater productivity, increase consumer spending (e.g new tellies, phones, clothes and games consoles) and reduce petty crime.

25% basic rate income tax. 35% above 30k p.a., 50% above 45k p.a., 60% above 80k p.a.

Introduce a 10% fat tax on all consumable items with a sugar content over a level that somebody who understands these things will come up with for me.

Ensure that all tobacco, alcohol and fat tax revenue must be proven to go directly to the NHS and not spent on bombing some poor c**t’s wedding in farawayistan.

Extensive and affordable public transport and PROPER cycle paths covering the entire existing road system.

Stop to funding, supporting and training of militant “rebels”

All pilsner will be at least 5% in alcohol and served correctly, with a head.

I will nod to the APB and include their policy that public services are to be compulsorily funded by companies which have underpaid previous taxes, and which pay any of their employees less than 10% of their CEO. I mean, we have to pay all this s**t I’ve come up with somehow.

NHS reform (need to work this out, but it’s still struggling to conform to a model designed for the 1950s).

In order to make them appear less menacing yet more elite at the same time, UK Police will adopt the same uniform as the Vatican Swiss Guards.

2000% VAT on any pizza featuring pineapple.

Introduction of dedicated “Fat and brat” commercial flights for obese passengers and those with screaming kids.

Posted By: Steve in Holland, May 9, 13:19:19