Souness Goes to Norwich: The Full Story

SOUNESS: Right, I'm in charge, you bunch of girls, and if anyone doesn't like my signings, my tactics, my training methods or my complete inability to man-manage even the simplest of simpletons you can f**k off out the door right now.

SAFRI: I'm injured.

SHACKELL: Me too.

DOHERTY: Hamstring.

SAFRI: May I respectfully suggest that instead of sprinting on our first day of pre-season training, and being rushed back into the team when we're obviously not fit, we try-

SOUNESS: (Throws tea, scolding several players) OUT! Get out! (Safri leaves, shaking his head and muttering under his breath). Anyone want to follow him? Anyone? (Looks at Rossi Jarvis). Don't look at me like that! Out! (Rossi leaves). Anyone else? ANYONE ELSE?

EARNSHAW: You're a c**t. (Leaves).

FLEMING: You're a c**t. (Leaves).

HUCKERBY: I would also like to compare you to the female reproductive organ in an aggressive manner. (Leaves).

SOUNESS: Right. That's the dressing room problem sorted. The rest of you stay here respecting my obvious managerial brilliance while I replace them. (Gets out phone).

Yes, I'd like to sign Kevin Muscat, Dean Windass, Danny Tiatto, Andy Todd and Neil Ruddock please. Thanks, Neil.

CAVE-BROWN: I'm injured.

Posted By: Ottosson Foxtrot, Feb 5, 22:45:48