Real Man's Official Player Ratings

Ruddy ? shaven head, gorilla shoulders, cheeky pat on Defoe. MAN

Wisdom ? jabbed his foot in like a chick using the accelerator on a car she?s never driven before. GIRL

Bennett ? proper centre half thug. MAN

Bassong ? don?t f**king fanny about like you?re f**king Messi, put your f**king foot through it. And if the ref doesn?t give you a penno you?ve dived for don?t roll on the floor thrashing your arms and legs about like a toddler at the sweet counter in Lidl. BIG FAT EMBARRASSING PINNY-WEARING GIRL

Olsson. I volley like that in my wet dreams. MAN

GON ? get the bandage back on son, it made you look harder. Thanks for trying. MAN

Howson ? try some tackling next game, it doesn?t hurt. GIRL

Jarvo ? honest shift, proper pro. MAN

Brady ? not surprised you gobbed off at that clueless f**king skinhead, I like your style. MAN

Naismith ? stop falling to the f**king floor every f**king time anyone touches you you big FANNY. It?s still a f**king contact sport. Stand strong and man the f**k up and better still f**k off back to Everton. And get a rug, your bonce is a f**king disaster. PATHETIC WIBBLY WOBBLY MOANING POUTING SULKING BALDY GIRL

Mbok ? leap like a f**king salmon, unit, looks like the Predator, keeps trying. MAN

Posted By: Real Man, Apr 18, 10:07:01