Viz had it right a couple of years ago

West Ham United have issued an apology to Sam Allardyce after the former manager was sacked SEVEN times by the club in 6 months - despite never having been employed by them.

The former Blackburn Rovers manager was enjoying a relaxing break between sackings when he first received a letter from Board of Directors at West Ham, thanking him for his efforts at the club and dispensing with his services.

The former Newcastle United chief assumed it was merely a clerical error and thought nothing of it, but over the following months several more letters arrived, all terminating his contract at Upton Park.

A spokesman for the London based club blamed the letters to the sometime Bolton Wanderers manager on an administrative slip during a staff training exercise.

"Sacking Sam Allardyce is something that every football club must be prepared for. It is part of West Ham's disaster management strategy. We routinely run through his imaginary dismissal once a month, so that when we eventually come to do it for real it won't be a problem".

However the exercises are so realistic that administrative staff at the club never know whether they are sacking the former Notts County manager for real or not. As a result, one-time manager of Limerick FC Allardyce continually receives dismissal letters from the West Ham board.

The letters are usually followed up by a phone call telling the erstwhile West Brom assistant that his sacking was just an exercise and not to be alarmed. But the constant practice dismissals are taking their toll on the ex-Blackpool chief.

"It's terrible", said former Preston North End caretaker manager Allardyce. "I can't plan anything or take holidays because I am in constant fear of the sack from West Ham, even though I am not currently employed"

But despite the mistake, the West Ham directors defended their stance. A spokesman told reporters "We make no apologies for our actions in repeatedly sacking Sam Allardyce every month".

"If it inconveniences one ex-manager, then it's a small price to pay for making sure the correct processes are followed in the event that Sam Allardyce is employed and then very likely dismissed by our club a few months later", he added.

Posted By: mr chimp, May 14, 17:15:35