They didn't

It was just a media plot to cover up other aspects of the Nixon administration. Watergate was in fact planned by Nixon himself to hide the fact that he was actually in receipt of special chemicals from China. He had already secured his personal uranium rights in Vietnam and under cover of the moon landings publicity released a record which reached number 11 in the Billboard charts - thanks to secret intervention by the freemasons. He is still the only reigning President to have had a hit single, if you don't count the sample of Ronald Reagan farting that the NSA secretly implanted on "Grandma, we love you" in order to pass a message to special sleeper agents to release the recipe for sticky gingerbread pudding in Delia's Winter Collection that led to Robert Chase's property dealing escaping the attentions of the local police.

Curiously, the shadowy media adviser who set all this up was called "Joe Lamborghini". It is widely known that his initial plan was to start insane rumours about two members of the Nixon administration secretly being gay lovers but this plan was abandoned because no-one with an ounce of sense would have believed it.

Posted By: Conspiracy Theorist, Nov 9, 14:43:49