The Secret Secret Diary of Bwod, aged 14 and ¾

Ha! Looks like planting a decoy ‘Secret Diary’ has worked! It seemed to fool several people when it was posted on the Roth on Friday but my true friends (Worthing and Cardiff) will know it’s a fake because A) I wouldn’t be seen dead in Superdrug. I source all my lipgloss from the ethical Body Shop and 2) that poem was obviously so bad it was a parody.

My poetry is far more wordy and sensitive. I can’t be doing with all that pragmatic, every line must rhyme type poetry (even if it is mildly successful and appealing to begin with).

I can’t be sure who is finding my ‘diary’ and posting it but I’ve got an idea it’s that’s speccy, nerdy boy in the six form who is re-taking his A-levels. He’s not going to find a girlfriend this way!

I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for Deansmith now. Some of those people who were like ‘Oh Deansmith, be my friend, we like you so much more than Daniel!’ when he first came, are now being mean to him. I’ve noticed he’s even had a haircut. I guess he’s trying to impress people. But I’m not going to be impressed until he can nonchalantly sweep his hair behind his ears whilst discussing Topics and Dieter Mining.

Anyway, I’d better go. I’ve just had a brilliant idea for the 16th stanza of my poem: Lo! The Heartbreak Of My Broken Heart

Posted By: Bravo win or die on March 21st 2022 at 11:56:50

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