As newly appointed Wrath CEO I like to get business done early

Here are my current provisional scouting notes as we rebuild and go again

MIKEWALKER ? first name on the team sheet, unique mix of idiocy and insight, brings that element of unpredictability to our game. Being offered an improved contract, no offers being entertained.

protheroe fitzgibbon ? as robust on the pitch as off it, still a relative novice but has already produced a string of POTD performances, legendary cider-drinking exploits. Keep.

CB41 ? looked like his last season this year but then every season has looked like his last season for the last decade. Has recently found a lease of life and has added a whole new element to his game by suddenly knowing what some things are. To be offered a one year contract on reduced terms.

Arizona Bay ? has spent too long in the physio room flouncing this season but welcome return to form, putting himself in the window just as contract decisions are being made. Long time crowd favourite, will keep him after a wee chat about his attitude.

Jim ? by contrast, not a crowd favourite at all. Ultra reliable and brings that much needed professionalism to the board, always steady and never influenced by the crowd. Serves the same function as a skull on the Renaissance dining table by stopping anyone from ever getting too happy about anything. A must keep.

norway ? Wrath?s equivalent of Kevin Muscat, possibly the angriest man on the internet. Red card waiting to happen every day, habitually plays the man not the ball, starts fights in empty rooms. Get rid, I?m selling him to a Millwall fanzine.

essexcanaryotbc ? Academy product, full of running. Perhaps too full of running, has to learn that he needs an end product and doesn?t have to reply to every single post. Needs a spell in League 1.

Larry Hagman ? glory days are behind him now, gone to seed. Wrap him in tinfoil and feed him to the aliens.

Charles 21- comes back for every pre-season in shocking shape, nutritionists are in despair. Retire him, offer him a job in catering.

Jumbo1 ? fan favourite, in fact every fan has had a go on him and wants another. Gorgeous and pouting, Wrath club shop runs out of posters of him every season. Keep - but try not to let him get the keys to the sex dungeon.

Garrrrrry Brooke ? too many incidents in the training ground showers, public enquiry waiting to happen. Being sold to Adam Johnson.

Old Man ? doing a fantastic job as Head of Gin and also top grammarian. Excellent work ethic and high overall standard. Needs to spend less time w**king over Rapey Dragons and pretending it?s all about the character development. Keep.

The Gelman ? can?t sell him because no-one wants him. Going on loan to an obscure Croatian board, he might make more sense in Croatian. Can?t wait for his contract to expire.

Straponsally ? manages to keep a lid on his frustration with other squad members most of the time, will always be there or thereabouts if he can keep the tantrums down. Keep.

BWOD ? no brainer, massive fan favourite, brings a whole new dimension to our attack ? who else could start a thread about where to have tea in Edinburgh? Keep

Ralf Scrampton ? the Wrath Enforcer. Fully laced Argument Boots ready to kick anyone who gets in his way. Keep.

Real Man ? one-dimensional, hasn?t kept up with the modern era, no variations ?beer, meat, tits, beer, meat, tits. Obviously keep, ideal.

Steve in Holland ? sadly limited contributions these days, it must be the cheese. Anderlecht want him and he must follow his dreams. Thanks for all the continental sophistication over the years.

Bucks and all his works ? contracts terminated. With extreme prejudice.

camcan ? another easy decision, superb quality on the post, can always pick a pass and produce the unexpected. Keep.

tudders ? they haven?t yet invented a drugs test tudders can pass. Has to turn over a new leaf or will die in rehab. Sell to QPR.

Kirrie ? it?s been a big step up from Scottish posting for the lad but he?s adjusted successfully, keep

GOBB ? going as a joblot with norway, two sides of the same coin.

pants ? veteran and board legend, has given us so many magic moments, but have to question his commitment these days sadly. Giving me a feel of the Peter Thornes at the moment, full and frank discussion needed before contract talks can begin

Tombs ? every board needs a 20 goals a season man, Tombs is ours. Robust in the air, good with both feet, bullies defences all day long. Good touch for a big man. Offer an improved contract to fight off interest from the Oink.

SCC ? like Joey Barton, you have to decide if he?s more trouble than he?s worth. I?m not convinced as yet. We need a man to man meeting to sort out his attitude.

Posted By: Old Git on May 16th 2016 at 14:31:43

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